A business
owner tells his friend that his finances are a complete mess and he is desperately
searching for an accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire an accountant a short while ago?" The business owner replies, "That's the accountant I've been searching for."
Theory and practice are the same in theory. In practice they are different. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or the Americans. Algebraic
notation is what you write when you don't know what you're talking about.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population. Every day, in-numeracy affects 8 out of 5 people.
A mathematician, an applied
mathematician and a statistician all apply for the same job. At the interview, they are
asked the question, what is 1+1. A hungry man went into a restaurant and noticed that the
daily special was rabbit burgers (a real delicacy) for only 49 cents a burger. He asked
the waiter about it and was told that, to keep prices down, they did add some filler,
namely horse meat. Did you hear about the
statistician who put her head in the oven and her feet in the refrigerator ?
Two statisticians were flying
from L.A. to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced,
"Unfortunately, we have lost an engine, but don't worry: There are three engines
left. However, instead of five hours, it will take seven hours to get to New York." |
LibraryImages/Humour/asset.gif If you want three opinions, just ask two statisticians. Q: How many statisticians
does it take to change a light bulb? A stats major was completely
hung over the day of his final exam. It was a true/false test, so he decided to flip a
coin for the answers. The stats professor watched the student the entire two hours as he
was flipping the coin...writing an answer...flipping the coin...writing an answer. At the
end of the two hours, everyone else had left except for that one student. The professor
walked up to his desk and interrupted the student. Did you hear about the
politician who promised that if he were elected he'd make certain that everybody would get
an above-average income? ( A famous statistician would
never travel by aeroplane, because he had studied air travel and estimated that the
probability of there being a bomb on any given flight was one in a million, and he was not
prepared to accept these odds. In God we trust. All others must bring data. |

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Copyright Pentacle 2003 Eddie Obeng
1994 All rights reserved